Role of house wives in development of Pakistan

In the upcoming new trends of current era, most women prefer to do jobs for earnings. Although 17 % of women in Pakistan are working ladies, but those who do not work are fond of and in search of any job. Working ladies are criticizing at many places and times as well as also appreciated. And no doubt women are doing excellent jobs and showing best performance even at sometimes better then men. If we observe upcoming educated results output of various educational institutes we can recognize that girls are ahead boys in studies also. In addition girls are already having good moral attitudes than boys in the society towards parents, teachers and other elders. Women are also appreciated to apply for jobs and to apply for higher studies. Any country having women at higher ranks feel good, developed and modern.

Mian usman in his article “the role of educated women in Pakistan’s development” accepts women capabilities at work places in Pakistan and indicates women as a key to development. He says “In my opinion women are far more better than us in time management, they are task oriented, better and multi tasking and far better in communication skills if they have a solid educational back ground. They manage kids, manage the house, look after her husbands parents and at times whole family, she manages the routine house hold, she is very good at budgeting and savings, very good administrator, very good at handling stress and pressure, good in convincing through logic and above all very patient. So why waste such a tremendous talent?”. But question arises here is that if women’s capabilities utilized at outdoors than who will take her place in her home? On the other hand, in home someone also required to fulfill all those duties with full attention. Most of women keep mates in their homes for domestic work but I think mates could not pay a role of true wife, mother and home manager. In various homes too much disturbances created due to this system. Family disturbance leads to so many problems in overall society which definitely injures developmental processes. I am not against working women but I am thinking about wide spread social problem that exists in our society due to working ladies which not only disturbed homes but also badly affect our new generation and also affects a lot psychological and physical health of women.

Farrah K Raja highlights proudly in her article “Revolution in the Islamic world by women, “We, the women, are constantly in the struggle to keep our homes intact, keeping our husbands happy, while at the same time maintaining a commitment to our jobs, in all this midst we are committed at bringing up our children in line with the core Islamic values which we hold so dear to our hearts. Its a mystical juggling machine which our gender group have so expertly managed over many hundred years and will continue to do so in the future without fail.”. No doubt women are intelligent, talented and brave enough even to jump in a war also but now with the passage of time we should look towards another angle also. When the mother going out for work she have to left her baby in home under care of mate which definitely could not be trustful at all costs. So many sexual harassment cases occur by mates with babies and in various times some of the children get afraid of such evil acts and never ever share with parents or others in life and such accidents abolish their whole life by affecting their mental health a lot. In some homes women have good in-laws and mother in law took responsibility of her “grand children. But in various homes grand mothers refuse to take such responsibility or may be have not good health to tackle with new little babies. There are also baby day care centers but may be not in every city of Pakistan and also not always of good and devotee quality and children upraised there often unhealthy, weak and become dull minded with the passage of time because mates in baby day care center could not give anything other than meal, feeder, changing pamper in time, keeping warm. Mate definitely has not mother love and attention that any baby required at that age for his all sorts of development.

I remembered when I was a college going girl, there was a one teacher who was teaching us mathematics. Mostly she was too much sad and has sorrows on her face. She was always counting beads in her hand and always requests us to pray for me. She came in college just few minutes before period time which was 11:00 o’clock and went away immediately after end of her periods before full time of college i.e. at 12:30. Even she can’t teach us well and we were taking tuition of that subject whereas she was gold medalist in MSc mathematics. The reason behind all this was her unhappy, unsatisfactory family life. She had two daughters who were so young her grand mother does not accept their responsibility and left her son’s home. My teacher left her two daughters sleeping alone in home knock them in one room and come to college that’s why she came very late and went away earlier. During that time directorate of colleges pass rule strictly that all lecturers should enter college at 8:00 am and leave college at 2:00 pm. From that time our lecturer becomes too much tensed and she mostly brings her daughters in college and they were roaming in the college in the hands of girls in ground. But there was rule of college too that lecturers cannot bring babies in college. So we students mostly hide her babies in the ground corners and in empty class rooms. Her husband demand was just leave job and stay at home for daughters….. He was also unhappy and angry from her wife…… our teacher was always too much tensed for her job…….. If one look at this whole story what comes in mind? If that lecturer leave job then all sort of family disturbances could ends. On the other hand if husband cooperate then she could continue job, but how should he help? Would he leave job and stay at home? Or would he call his mother to take care of his daughters? If his mother replied that “my son I am tired I upraised you all to upraise your Children yourself” then? If she keep any mate? Then if any accident likes sexual harassment occur then? And there was no baby day care center at that time. So what was the best solution? Only that lecturer should left job??? That lecturer always says that I have MSc degree in mathematics not to stay in home……… then who will take care of those two innocents? This is not the one and only case I heard and saw lot of such cases.

In foreign countries babies’ cherishment considered a lot for overall development. I have my one relative in Austria she was masters in chemistry from one of the University of Viana. Before marriage she was doing job in some pharmaceutical company but after marriage she took leave from the job according to rules or may be norm of that country. She borne two babies when they were become old enough to handle themselves she again go to join her job. Her sons were of 12 and 10 at that time when she apply to continue again. Her company says her that your babies are too small up till yet if they become ill you will took leave again and may be sometimes you need leave for them more than a week and we can’t bear this. Then her father says that I will take her sons to doctor when they were ill. The company asks for legal notice of the statement of her father so he legally approved his statement then submit to the company then she will allowed to join the company again. But again company says her to join one year course to refresh your knowledge. From this we can took two results one that foreign countries look towards all faces they understand that if the children will not upraised with full attention then it definitely affects our developmental process. Also they look towards the employer that how much he will be satisfied from home to pay full attention on job to make the company and alternatively country developed. In our society this phenomenon is totally absent no one take care of different dimensions of development at social level.

In our society now working ladies have severe family problems even most of women got separation from their husbands for their jobs and careers. Children are also affected and disturbed psychologically due to working mothers and disturbed family system. I have taught primary class and below then primary level in various private schools. During my this teaching career I observed that children have educated mothers who do not do jobs were excellent in studies and in other extra curriculum activities , too much bold and also more morally developed then those whose mothers were working ladies or whose mothers were uneducated. In the school whenever PTM (parents teachers meeting) held mostly educated house wives visit and able to understand problems of there children and cooperate us to overcome problems of students. Whenever we meet with parents our first question from them that do you sit with your children when they were studying? Answers of various working ladies were “no we have not as much time….” Most of the working ladies blame us (teachers) that it is our responsibility to improve children studies, attitudes and moral values. But I think according to Islam the first school of baby is mothers lap. Also if we look keenly and analyze we can understand that parents have more responsibility for their children then their teachers. Children are with teachers just for maximum 8 hours out of 24 hours of the day. They are with their parents for 16 hours of remaining day. All human beings learn from their life activities and definitely children could have more activities in 16 hours then of 8 hours. Proper upraising of children leads to overall solid development of country I can prove this in the following paragraph based on one of the American theorist Tocqueville.

Tocqueville work on the American democratic regime in early nineteenth century. I read about his work in a book of Steven J. Hood “Political Development and Democratic Theory” written in 2004. In this book Steven J. Hood named family as a Democracy’s Nursery. In our country the most and hot issue or problem is of implementation of true democracy. And whenever we need answer to the question that what is democracy, unfortunately its procedural and mechanical aspects explained which include___ elections, political bargaining, and economic policies ________.Now democracy also become limited to abolishment of 18-amendment in our country. Tocqueville established ethical meaning of democracy. According to him democracy could establish through families affairs rather than considering state interventions. In his observations he describes family as a nursery of democratic citizenship. He believed that in American families “…. …. Fathers ultimately made decisions on weighty matters in American families; they were more likely to listen to the counsel of their wives and children…. He credits its women for the central role of teaching mores in the home. Women’s fervent believes in religion and their concerns for the children’s wellbeing have a profound impact on marriage and the family. They are key agents for shaping mores in the home, though their desires are reinforced by their husbands, who demonstrate faith by practicing these mores in and out of the home.”

If we look keenly towards observations and believe of Tocqueville we can understand that how much role of house wives is important for the development. Tocqueville in his work noted that American’s do not have peasant mentality, and we can also observe this by our experience with Americans. And he note that this is not due to schools and government but because of parents full and attentive role. Children in America taught to be democratic with their friends while playing, studying in gatherings etc. they learnt from their parents that how to behave calmly with others and take care of rights of others in addition to fulfilling their duties towards others. They have democratic attitude towards win or loss by accepting it with dignity. So when such children become leaders in future then they apply the same mores and values that they learnt in their childhood from parents. From the observations of Tocqueville women have central role in teaching mores so we can say understand that how much house wives have key role in the development of country. As if they give children with democratic minds and attitude to the country then definitely they are participating a lot then working ladies in development. A working lady could not pay as much attention that she could not observe each and every activity of her babies and demonstrate them that how to behave whereas mostly mothers prefer to beat their child on their bad and undemocratic acts and attitudes.

Now let’s come towards role of housewives towards husbands. Again I took a paragraph from the book of Steven J. hood about the saying of Tocqueville, “… home is a refuge for the husbands from the world. After the day’s duties are over, the head of the house returns home, and there all his pleasures are simple and natural and his joys innocent and quiet, and as the regulatory of life brings him happiness, he easily forms the habit of regulating his opinions as well as his tastes…..”. If we go towards history we could come to know that most of famous and successful Kings have excellent home managers, who give him happiness, pleasure and relaxation to think about the state in a very responsible way. To take good decisions for anyone it is necessary to have full mental relaxation from his most nearby relations and for any male wife is the closest relation. Pakistani women could make their males successful by supporting them at home by giving innocent pleasures, by making their minds free of domestic tensions. Such males not only become beneficial for their family but also could contribute towards development of country by paying full attentions towards his service. So again we are able to lay down statement that house wives have root role in the development.

If we look towards sayings of Islam it also explains the role of women just as Tocqueville. I have go through an article by Amin Ahsan Islahi “the concept of equality between men and women”. I found this article too much realistic. He narrated beautifully the role of men and women in the society and takes them both as too much important. He says; “….Allah has created both man and woman from the same matter. Just like man is an integral part of this system so is a woman and both have been created by Allah for their own specific purposes. Both have a right to be respected and honoured. Just like he possesses certain talents, so does a woman and as she possesses certain emotions, trends and natural inclinations, so does a man…..So a man and a woman should, according to their natural inclinations and aptitudes, move in their respective orbits like sun and the moon in order to carry out the divine will….”. In this paragraph he tells that women role as a house wife and men a s bread earner is set by nature. It is not made by society or cultures and one could not move opposite to nature. Whenever we talk over this topic and highlighted that women are best as house wives then various communities labeled people like me too much conservative. But actually we can’t turn our face from the natural facts and phenomena. To have successful and peaceful life it is important to realize the natural process because Allah has made people in his way and if we try to follow another way then it certainly do not easy, relax and painless. Let’s observe if we have baby girl and a baby boy, we bring them in a toy shop and make them independent to select their toys. Certainly we will notice that a girl will go towards dolls, kitchen sets, home sets etc and a boy will move towards gun, car, aero plane and tough games. No one bound children to select their toys actually it is by nature. In the same article I go through various verses and Ahhadees who supports Tocqueville theory,

“Men are the maintainers of women, with what Allah have made some of them to excel others and with what they spend out of their wealth. So the good women are obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded.

A narration of Holy Prophet (sws) regarding the leadership of women narrated by Hazrat Abu Bakra (ra) is as follows.

A nation that hands over its leadership to a woman cannot prosper.

Or he foregoes in whose hand is the marriage tie. And it is nearer to dutifulness that you forgo. And don’t forget that one excels the other.”

I have found a forum in which all members were discussing on a topic just similar like this the topic was” working women or house wives?” most of members comment in favor of requirement of house wife is more than working women I show in the following text box the conversation of some of the member of that forum.

In this text B refers to boy and G to girl. By reading the conversation of these forum members we could understand that housewife means not a human being without any job on land. Dealing with home, children, husband, and handling their requirements in time, looking after elders at home and also taking care of all family matters and other occasions is a tough job. In the above conversation accept comment from G1 all other all in favors of house wives. We can say that as there is an urgent need of engineers, doctors, graduates in various subjects, best human resources with best skills for the socio-economic development we also need now best well qualified mothers, house wives, family managers who could make the social setup relax and could develop bright future by nurturing there Children in best democratic codes.

By the above all discussion again importance of housewives role cleared for the development of the country. And most of our women know this and understand at best. But despite this women are in search of good jobs why? Why a woman needs to do job? Various women are doing job to overcome there financial needs. But in my life experience with various middle class ladies I understand that the problem is not only poverty. When I was a school teacher one of my colleague bring her three little babies in school both in extreme hot and cold seasons. She has no one at home to take care of her children. She hired a 12 years old girl to look after her children in the school. That girl was herself a child and can not understand how too manage babies. Mostly those babies fall from stairs and become injured. While observing various accidents happened with her babies one of our staff members suggests her that colleague to stay home with your children until they grown up. She replies” my husband is an army officer and he earns as much that we do not need more for our needs. I am doing job because household duties are totally unpaid and unrewarded.” I observed various such cases around me where women only work for her status and reward. Mostly house wives argue that there is no respect of house wives. House wives always considered as burden and never ever husbands and other family members become happy from them. Even house wives are doing such a job which includes no leave, no holiday no break time and no Sunday. House wives have to stand by all the time. There is no exact time of her duty times. She has to perform duty whenever any house member needs. In 1999 an article published “Are housewives undervalued?” the back round of this article was the 24-hour strike of homemakers to show that how much there job is important. In this strike housewives left kitchens for 24 hours in search of status, respect and reward.

Unfortunately in our society no importance given to house wives in history, magazines and even in TV programmes. Always those women were praised who did job out of home to earn and do something extra ordinary. Let’s take an example of programme 51% of geo TV… never ever they include housewives as special one also, whereas there job is at most linked with development. Therefore this attitude of media also turns women mind. All the people whenever do good they wish to listen there praise but who praised housewives? Who accept there job as an important wheel of development? Is there any prize in our country for house wives? Ever government gives any prize of performance to housewives? No…then definitely women will start leaving house job and trying taking positions in offices etc…

On the other hand housewives have no respect at home also. We have in our society very conservative and negative minds. I think that by reading the observations of Tocqueville most of males of our community will immediately use the words like……. yes women work is only to stay at home and do household duties within four walls __ office work is not in the range of women capabilities, there work only to handle homes…. Mostly these words of males degrade women too much and stir them up to go out of homes to do tough jobs and show males that we can do this. If males consider thoughtfully four highlighted words in the Tocqueville first paragraph i.e. [counsel, credit, central role, key agents] then they could understand that why their wives go out of homes to work. In our society husbands at various levels do not need to listen to her wives counsel, as according to them they are sharp and brilliant and everything they do not need his wives counseling. Male at most degrade their house wives in home. Mostly husbands feel insulting in listening to wives. Husbands do not even like to praise their wives they do not give them any credit even in words. Husbands do not realize the wives role as a central role of his home. They do not understand them as a key agent of their home peace and good upraise of his children. Mostly husbands when arrive home after office hours and ask for meal , if the meal is not exactly according to the desire of husband he use words like” I am doing job from morning till evening for you and you are cooking just pulses and vegetables for me”. This happened mostly in low class or middle class homes. If housewife spend more money then she can manage meat daily for her husband otherwise it is difficult. Housewives have to spend in a way that she could save some money also for difficult time or for her daughters and sons marriage. Mostly women do jobs also to overcome their expenditures but it is fact that if women perform her household’s tasks herself all the day in her eyes then there are less expenditures. And as much she earn she can save in her home by utilizing and managing all resources properly. But this can possible only by good and cooperative coordination of husbands. There should be nothing hidden between husband and wife in household matters. Couple should discuss and understand each other all matters. This could not only relax the housewife to perform her duty but also aware the husband of all household matters and he can then decide better for his home and children.

Housewives are urgent need of current time of terrorism, peace less and corrupt environment. They could prepare a democratic generation for the country according to our religion Islam. Expensive schooling could create qualified generation but could not create morally developed generations. Husbands should cooperate and credits their wives for their jobs at home. Husbands should understand that washing clothes, preparing meal, dealing with babies all these tasks make housewife tired also, if husband is earning full day for home then housewife is also not free her job is also tiring and important she also need rest, courage and reward. Reward not means money, it could be in words, loving emotions and praising words. Women education should be preferred for qualified home makers. Relax family setup could establish relax social setup. Government should support housewives for there jobs. There should be prizes at official level for housewives who give well qualified morally developed generations. Media should highlight housewives’ job as an important tool for development.

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